Column: (Re) turning into apes

 Us but cuter Us but cuter

Stark naked and running through the hills and hunting for sustenance.

This is pretty much what we, human beings of our time, should be doing to ensure we remain healthy in the way nature intended..

Our bodies were certainly not designed for sitting hunched at desks and walking from coffee shop to bar in perilous heels or tight trousers, carrying our own body weight in clobber with a phone glued to our ears.

But we already knew that.

However, the science is now in, confirming we are slowly returning ourselves to the image of crouched, almost crawling, homo-sapiens of thousands of years ago popularised by the Darwin theory.

We may be taller and have less body hair, but just look down any British street, to see a procession of stooped individuals, staring at their shoes, muttering to themselves or a device with a distinctly ape-like manner while shovelling food in on the go.

The latest report, from the British Chiropractor Association so presumably they know what they are talking about, confirms wearing skinny jeans, cross-body bags and even oversized sleeves can have a detrimental impact on posture and health.

As approximately 50 per cent of the people sitting around me in the newsoom have a back problem, yours truly included, this is not hard to believe.

Thousands of pounds worth of high-tech robotic desk chairs, fancy support cushions and personal trainers will not alter the fact that if you wear restrictive jeans you will walk with a bit of a wince – wreaking havoc on the hips and knees and providing a painful legacy for later years.

Meanwhile trends such as asymmetric hemlines, oversized sleeves and hoods and heavy jewellery can also create problems.

In fact, in the same way the tastiest foods make you fat, the most popular items can make you ill – handbags and cross -body bags are on the list.

Meanwhile trends such as asymmetric hemlines, oversized sleeves and backless shoes are killing us.

Time to get as naked as the day we were born.

Or join a zoo.

Published in titles including @leponline