In the manner of royalty, it is time for me to dish out my entirely undemocratic random honours for 2015 – those things, people and issues which kept us all jabbering for the wrong, right and sometimes no reason.
So in no order at all I bestow the Jabbering Journo New Year Honours to:
1. The first jabbering crown goes to THAT dress. The complete non-story of an internet puzzle that kept everyone talking and arguing for the best part of a week.
As a marketing ploy it was genius – only it really wasn’t intentional.
If it was it would be winning every award going.
And all for a dodgy-looking white and gold frock..
2.The most noble order of jabbering goes to (Dame) Caitlyn Jenner.
From the most outrageously overpublicised family of them all, the inexplicably mega-famous Kardashians, the lady formerly known as Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner revealed her new identity and got the world talking about issues previously left on the fringes.
By identifying as Caitlyn, she started a conversation and whatever you think of the internet dominant family as a whole, for that she is due respect – and a jabbering honour.
3. The biggest numpty of them all award goes to Donald Trump.
There are no real words to describe the man who really could be the next US president but he has achieved something no-one else has managed quite so well, making even the most controversial of our British politicans look caring, sharing and intelligent.
4. And finally.
The OBE (Oh bye ‘eck) award goes to Water.
This wet stuff is quite useful really but has dominated the news agenda this year and not always in a good way.
We remembered it fondly when a crypto bug left us Lancastrians without the tap water we take for granted.
We went off it a bit in recent days when it flooded us out across the county causing chaos, misery and making Boxing Day considerably less festive.
And were all forced to re-examine our values, compassion and generosity when thousands of migrants started to risk their lives to flee across it in search of a better life.
Happy New Year.